3 Simple Ways to Move Beyond the Problems that Keep You Stuck

Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash

When I was a therapist in private practice, I quickly learned that many couples have the same fight over and over again. After a few years, they could almost script it out: She does this; he says that; she says this; he does that.

While they could easily identify and describe the pattern, they couldn’t seem to break free of it. Once they were in the loop, they were stuck. Because they didn’t know how to get out of the loop, they did their best to avoid it which often meant avoiding each other and creating a damaging distance in the relationship.

These “problem loops” don’t just appear with couples. They happen internally as well. When you are launching or growing a business, these problem loops spring up, and it seems like no matter what you do, you keep getting the same results.

The good new is that these problems are your greatest teachers. They are pointing out the improvement that YOU need to make to reach your goal. When you can see them as divine teachers instead of obstacles to overcome, you are ready to reap the reward of mastering this lesson. Once you’ve mastered the lesson the problem is trying to teach you, your results will begin to change.

Here are three simple ways to move beyond the problems that keep you stuck:

1. Stop telling the story of your problem. When I’m coaching with a client, I allow them to tell me their story once and only once. Why? Because every time we tell the story of our problems we reify them. We make them bigger and more powerful. We increase their attraction problem.
2. Create distractions for yourself. When you feel yourself stuck in the story of the problem, like how its so hard for you to find clients, or why you never have enough money to go around, you need to find a way to change topics. It doesn’t matter if its happening in conversation with someone else, or happening inside your head, you need to change topics as soon as possible. Go take a walk, take a nap, dance around the house to your favorite 90s music. Just something to break the cycle. The earlier you catch yourself, the better: When you’ve gotten a lot of momentum going on a problem, its hard to switch gears.
3. Stop trying to figure out why. Trying to figure out why something is happening is like looking into an abyss. You just can’t ever see the bottom of it, and you might end up falling over the edge. Every time you are asking why something is happening, you are giving more and more power to that thing that you don’t want in your life. You’re using your incredible power of focus to create more of what you don’t want.

What makes these three solutions so powerful?

When you are operating at the vibration of a problem, you don’t have access to the solution, no matter how hard you try. As Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” Instead, you need to elevate your vibration, elevate your thinking, before you are able to see the solution.

The solution we are seeking ALWAYS exists. It’s usually much easier than we expect, and it often doesn’t look like what we are expecting. but we can’t see solution until we rise to its level.

First as a therapist, and now as a business coach, I see this as one of my primary functions. Clients often come to me mired down in a deeply entrenched problem. Often, it’s wanting to build a 6-figure business, but stuck at a plateau well below that.

I have coached thousands of business owners to successful businesses over the past 13 years, so I know that building a 6-figure business is completely achievable. My client is stuck at the level of the problem because they don’t know how to reach their goal. I’m automatically at the level of the solution because I’ve seen so many people accomplish the same goal.

My absolute belief in what’s possible allows my clients to see possibilities that they couldn’t before. As my knowing inspires faith in them, they rise above the problem and the solution becomes evident. Once they can clearly see the improvement that is being called forth from them, begin to move forward. Their problem becomes a thing of the past.

When you are caught in the grip of a problem loop, use one of these three options to first get yourself out if it, and THEN allow the solutions to emerge.