It’s Time to Stop Beating Yourself Up Quite So Much

Jennifer Sneeden
2 min readSep 8, 2021
Photo by Obi Onyeador on Unsplash

There I was, at the service counter of the car dealership, ready for my appointment, when the service rep told me that hadn’t gotten the parts in for the work that had to be done on my car.

I reacted in a way that I’m definitely not proud of. I was so annoyed that he hadn’t bothered to call me and let me know they wouldn’t be able to do the work today. I told him just how rude and inconsiderate that was, wasting so much of my time.

The service manager came over and quickly de-escalated the situation. We got the appointment rescheduled, and he moved my future appointments to a different service rep.

Before I left, I apologized to both the manager and the service rep. But inside, I still felt awful. That is definitely not the way I want to show up in the world. That is not how I want to treat people who make mistakes.

But I’m human. I make mistakes too. I react in ways I’m not proud of. I don’t always let the other car get in front of me at drop-off.

I carried this experience from the dealership around with me for several days, beating myself up about it. Then I realized I just had to let it go. I couldn’t keeping beating myself up, because that was just keeping me stuck in it. I couldn’t move past this until I forgave myself and released the guilt and shame.

Forgiving yourself and releasing the guilt is essential because if you don’t, it will start to effect your self esteem. You’ll carry all those mistakes and errors around with you until you start to believe they define you.

The world around you is ALWAYS a mirror of your self-image. So if you allow your self-image to be filled with guilt, shame, and blame, just imagine how that will shape your life.

To be the best version of yourself, and create a life you truly love, it’s time to stop beating yourself up so much and reliving the mistakes of your past. Own up to what you did wrong, do your best to make it right, and then move on with your life.

To give yourself a clean slate to start from each day, you can do a simple forgiveness exercise before you go to bed each night. Simply take a few quiet minutes and ask yourself: “What do I need to forgive myself for today?”

As you work through forgiving yourself, you’ll feel a tremendous sense of peace, which is a great way to end the day.